Friday, December 31, 2010

2010 was AWESOME, now on to the next one

Taking that long, narrow, winding road again after what feels like years. This time, though, I'm behind the wheel.

I've got a good feeling about this year. I may have found some motivation to work hard, so we'll see :)

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

A Radical Experience in Empathy. Open Your Mind.



it's pretty long, but it's worth watching. I promise.

Monday, December 27, 2010

stay true

"...To express yourself as you are, without any intentional, fancy way of adjusting yourself, is the most important thing..." Shunryu Suzuki

It's important to be yourself, always, and be confident about it too. You're probably awesome (extra awesome if you're actually reading this), so there's no need to change for anyone.
 
I've made some changes this year. I'm less of a secret bitch and I trust fewer people. It's easier for me to say 'no' and I'm pretty straightforward with everyone. I still respect everyone though, which I think is important. I don't feel the need to censor myself in front of my good friends, and I don't plan on disclosing myself to anyone anymore, unless they prove to be honest and worthy. I've made that mistake way too many times.
I noticed more people being fake, and I don't understand it at all. How can you be one way toward a person and call them your friend when they're in front of you, but turn and talk about them when they leave the room? Shit ain't right.

Anyway, I'm looking into study abroad programs and found a couple that go with what I'm studying, and would be a dream to visit (Germany and Spain). I'm so bored with where I'm at. I should probably listen to my dad who always tells me, "Well, you need to get bored once in a while!"
I'm getting tired of walking along the same blocks every day for classes. Routine kills me. I don't know how normal that is. It's only been a year and a half. Maybe the change in schedule this semester will help with that. But seriously, studying abroad would be AMAZING.

Friday, December 24, 2010

route of exploration

So, I've finally mapped out the route of my journey. It's gonna be a good one. I think I'm destined to wander the earth.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

well, damn.

I might as well change my name to Summer.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

say what?

I'm in my twenties.
"You'll always be a kid, and that's what so great about you." :)
I spent my last day as a teenager sleeping, playing soccer for 3 hours, eating a calzone, and watching Charlie St. Cloud with two awesome people. Alhumdulillah, it's been one of my favorite years. On to the next one! :)

Saturday, December 18, 2010

God is aplenty

The Wazir Khan Mosque in Lahore, Pakistan, is famous for its extensive faience tile work. This mosque is beautifully adorned with colorful tiles and Arabic calligraphy. Insha'Allah one day I hope to visit it, among many others.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Destination: Persia

one day my dream of traveling the world will become a reality.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Holden Caulfield

"Look, sir. Don't worry about me," I said. "I mean it. I'll be all right. I'm just going through a phase right now. Everybody goes through phases and all, don't they?"

Sunday, December 12, 2010

there's beauty in the breakdown

I'm not sure of the source, but this photo makes me so happy.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

the call

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light

You'll come back when it's over

No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

Monday, December 6, 2010

my heart's greatest pieces

Dad, you're the greatest man I've ever known. I hope to one day be just as selfless as you.

Mom, I hope to have a heart as big as yours, to care as much as you do. You are beautiful.
Narrated 'Abdullah: I asked the Prophet (pbuh) "Which deed is the dearest to God?" He replied, "To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents"...(Bukhari)

Saturday, December 4, 2010

we're fated to pretend


He just stands with his toes on the edge
And he waits for it to disappear again
there's way too much bad shit in this world
and i've already said that a number of times before
but all the fakes and liars are being revealed in time
and i can't help but be shocked every time i see that someone is not who they seem.

and honestly, it bothers me.
i mostly keep to myself nowadays because from what i know, no one else is real.
sad truthh.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

For as Long as I can Remember, It's Been December

First things first, I would REALLY like the recipe for time. So if you've got that, contact me immediately :)

 I always thought I'd build a Mosque when I'm older, and travel around the world and teach villages, feed the hungry and help the orphans, write a book and change the world. The older I get, the more that seems like just a dream.

MONEY=POWER=CHANGE.

One of the challenges a lot of Social Workers face is lack of funds to make the changes that they're intended to make. And that scares me because in order to really help people on a large scale, you've got to have money. Social Workers get paid wayy too little for the amount of work they do, and for the number of peoples' lives they change.
That should be motivation enough for me to want to be the best student I can be, and work to my full potential so I can get a great job and make bankk. And it is important, but right now those words alone aren't changing my study habits or the amount of effort I put in. And I'm going to regret it later. As much as I wish I wouldn't, I keep cruising through school without trying my best. Lately I've been thinking about double majoring to gain more experience, but knowing that I would be in school longer is so unappealing to me. It's sad, I know. It's definitely still an option, though. I've only ever been motivated about non-academic things. BLEHHHH. I just want to get to my major-specific courses so I can learn something I'm interested in and find out what the heck I want to do. I hate not knowing. I thought I knew, but lately I just don't know!

Friday, November 26, 2010

needs

or wants, rather.

+fancy camera
+jeep wrangler
+sailboat

Alright. I posted this list right before my dad brought out his camera to show us pictures he took on his trip to Pakistan today.
I'd be happy if I never got any of these things. The photos he showed us were so humbling. We have so much, and the people in my dad's old town have so little. And people elsewhere have even less.
Then he pulled out the gifts he got us. He brought back a bunch of small things from Pakistan; scarves, key chains, jewelry, and a few traditional clothes. Then he pulled out the hats and wallets for my brothers, and designer bags he got us on his stop in Paris on his way home. I immediately felt bad.
I'll be posting some pictures from Pakistan as soon as I can.

I feel like I learned a lot during my break at home this time around. People who used to mean so much to me are now such a small part of my life, and I used to be so preoccupied with it, like it was the only thing that mattered. The importance of patience is becoming so much more apparent now.
I was once bitter, so I know what it looks like when other people feel that way. Don't try to rush your feelings away. Just be patient and things will eventually get better. All good things come to an end, but better things often come in their place. And every bad experience only makes you stronger. So always remember to be patient.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

a change of heart, headscarf

I've been inspired to do some research about wearing the hijab, a head covering traditionally worn by Muslim women (the term hijab refers to the entire modest dress, but I'll be referring to the head scarf), by one of my really great friends, who recently decided to take off her hijab. I had known about her decision because of facebook photos, and as many times as we spoke to each other, the topic of her removing her headscarf never came up. I never asked, and she never mentioned it. Until earlier today.

Yesterday, I noticed that another one of my friends had removed her hijab since last year. Someone asked me about it, and I didn't know what to say. Usually when girls take off their hijabs, it's always assumed by everyone that they've changed in one way or another. I don't think many people stop to ask for a reasoning behind it.

Anyway, I thought it was unfair to make judgments before talking to this former hijabis, and so I've decided to do some journalism and post my findings on my blog for everyone to see. In the next couple of weeks inshaAllah, I'll be asking former hijabis, current hijabis, and random people about their opinions about women who wear the hijab. With their permission, of course, I'll be sharing their thoughts and opinions with all of you, and I'll also tell the story of my own personal decision to wear the hijab, and my uncertainty with it, and how it has helped shape who I am today.

This is completely random, I know, but it's a very curious topic and I get questions all the time about why I wear it, and when I started to wear it. Especially today, when people are so focused on this one image of beauty being portrayed in the media, it's often times hard for hijabis to fit in. This layer of cloth wrapped around a woman's head isn't seen by too many others as a favored accessory.

Anyway, I have a lot to say, as do many others, and I'm excited to write it all down and publish it as a blog post in a couple of weeks.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

My Day in Skies, سبحان الله

sky tracks:
 
incredible:
 traces of inspiration:
 and we're left with dust:
all good things come to an end,
but we're lucky to have known such a pretty day.
  unedited.
 
© Copyright 2010 Anisah Khan

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Erase Me - Kid Cudi

He said I don't spend time
like I really should
He said he don't know me,
anymore
I think he hates me deep down
I know he does
He wants to erase me
hmmmmmmmmm
A couple days no talking,
I seen my baby
And this what he tells me
He said
 
I keep on running, keep on running
and nothing works
I can't get away from you,
no
I keep on ducking, keep on ducking
and nothing helps
I can't stop missing you
yeah

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Fajr

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say

 words can't even describe how it felt to wake up to this sunrise!

Friday, November 5, 2010

200th post and I'm completely lost

too much is going on in my head right now.

i'm so homesick.


i've never been homesick like this before. maybe because my best friends are so far away, and I don't feel like anyone is in my reach anymore. my dad just left for a month-long trip and it's weird because we've never had to make a long-distance call to each other before...


I just want everyone I love to be in one place, with me.


i'm wondering about what i'm studying, not sure what the hell I want to do anymore.
big dreams, but not enough motivation.
and reality always kicks in.



i just want to be abroad right now. and go running.

I'm also getting really good at complaining. it's gross.

a million ideas are dancing around in my head, and I don't know what to do with them.

"I don't even know what I was running for - I guess I just felt like it." - J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

Thursday, November 4, 2010

hijab

What do you see when you look at me?
Do you see someone limited, or someone free?
All some people can do is just look and stare
Simply because they can't see my hair.
Others think I am controlled and un-educated
They think that I am limited and un-liberated
They are so thankful that they are not me
Because they would like to remain 'free'.
Well free isn't exactly the word I would've used
Describing women who are cheated on and abused
They think that I do not have opinions or voice
They think that being hooded isn't my choice.
They think that the hood makes me look caged
That my husband or dad are totally outraged
All they can do is look at me in fear
And in my eye there is a tear.
Not because I have been stared at or made fun of
But because people are ignoring the one up above
On the day of judgment they will be the fools
Because they were too ashamed to play by their own rules.
Maybe the guys won't think I am a cutie
But at least I am filled with more inner beauty
See I have declined from being a guy's toy
Because I won't let myself be controlled by a boy.
Real men are able to appreciate my mind
And aren't busy looking at my behind
Hooded girls are the ones really helping the Muslim cause
The role that we play definitely deserves applause.
I will be recognized because I am smart and bright
And because some people are inspired by my sight
The smart ones are attracted by my tranquility
In the back of their mind they wish they were me
We have the strength to do what we think is right
Even if it means putting up a life long fight
You see we are not controlled by a mini skirt and tight shirt
We are given only respect, and never treated like dirt
So you see, we are the ones that are free and liberated
We are not the ones that are sexually terrorized and violated
We are the ones that are free and pure
We're free of STD's that have no cure
So when people ask you how you feel about the hood
Just sum it up by saying, 'Baby, it's all good.'

I'm not sure of the source of this poem, but I've always liked it and decided to share :)

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

no one stands a chance

yes, I'm easily amused.
but I get bored of routine.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

your fraudulent smile

I'm planning a trip to the mountains sometime in the next couple of weeks.
I want need this

ESCAPE.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

6:152

And whenever you give your word, say the truth.

Friday, October 22, 2010

tonight, you arrested my mind

 Every time I come home, something bad happens. Usually I leave the keys in the car, which is just annoying. Last time I came home and we went to Philly, Umar got sick the minute we stepped out of the car. And this time, I got a ticket for the worst reason EVER.
 I was on my way back from the dentist and Umar refused to come with me... the dentist was new and because I'm only in town for the weekend, I guess I don't really have a choice in who sees me. She numbed half my mouth to fill some cough*cavities*cough. blehh, so I walked out of there with a half numbed face and feeling really light-headed for some reason. Anyway, I was pulled over as I was entering the highway.
 Why does HOV hours change depending on which direction you're traveling? And why would I know this? I hardly ever drive :/ Crying your way out of a ticket definitely does not work. Well it might, but not in this case. The cop was really nice, and I decided I'll just pay the ticket without letting my parents know... which sets me back $125, but keeps them from being disappointed in me. I decided that after I was pulled over, I didn't really want to talk to anyone, so I just drove and took the next exit, followed the road and didn't stop until it ended. The streets sounded familiar, but I really had no clue where I was. And because I don't think I'll ever resort to using a GPS, I was lost. I drove the road back to where I knew, and went home. I think I needed that drive alone. As upset as I was, when I got home I was fine.
 I went to watch the documentary Waiting for Superman with Samirah and Zyad. It was about the broken education system in the US. I immediately became thankful for having gone to such good schools growing up. Even now, to be able to attend a University, it's really something I've begun to appreciate. I can't wait til I'm done with all these prerequisites. I want to start interning, and I reallyyy want to start traveling and doing Peace Corps type work where people need the most help.
 Today I went to DC and Georgetown with two great friends. It was amazing because instead of talking about how stressed we are about shit that didn't go right, we just chilled and enjoyed the day out. It was lovely.
  AND. Traveling somewhere far is HAPPENING. soon (2 years from now?) inshaAllah! Turkey, Syria, Jordan. Dear God, I can't even imagine myself two years from now.

Alhumdulillah.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

a bunch of phonies

fuck everything I thought I knew about anyone.
all is changing, nothing is true.

“Certain things they should stay the way they are. You ought to be able to stick them in one of those big glass cases and just leave them alone.” -Holden Caulfield, Catcher in the Rye

Saturday, October 16, 2010

It's sad that some sort of tragedy has to occur in order for people to unify.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

!@#$&*

"You know, he used to like you."
"What happened?"
"I don't know, I guess he sort of just gave up."

Saturday, October 9, 2010

respect

Thursday, October 7, 2010

I have no idea who I am

I'm still always distracted by my lovely view.
Man, oh man, you're my best friend
I scream it to the nothingness
There ain't nothing that I need


For the first time since I've been in college, I can't wait to go home. I still LOVE campus and the people here are awesome, but I hate not having my family with me. And for quite some time I've just been wanting to travel. A road-trip by myself or with a close friend, doesn't matter. I just feel like I need to get away from all this noise.
Also, I've decided I'm a loner. And it's alright. After years of having an entourage, I'm finally just doin' my own thang, honey.



I just skyped with Aileen for an hour after not having spoken to her but once since she's been in abroad! :) Apparently internet in Korea is better than college network internet in AMERRRICA. Surprise, surprise.
And the other day I skyped with Rachel (Florida). Oh man, I'm good.
I'm also very cold. Fall skipped its turn this year. :( my favorite season. OH and apparently I'm not your Autumn. Not right now, at least.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

friends

Isn't that what we're all doing anyway?
Just using each other for a good time?

Saturday, October 2, 2010

obsession

I probably won't ever get over my obsession with the sky.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Leonardo Dicaprio

Saturday, September 25, 2010

gold TOMS

I feel like I need to find myself. And the only place where I want to look is on a remote island filled with mango trees and pretty seas.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

the kids don't stand a chance

naema: tell me a story.
me: once upon a time there was a girl who didn't fit in no matter where she went
me: she walked halfway across the country to find a group that would accept her
me: then she met a boy. and he laughed at her silliness and played with her smile.
me: and she realized she was awesome and didn't need to fit in with anybody
me: she was fine and fit just as she was
me: the END :)
naema: is this based on a true story?
me: muahaha
naema: i don't know. i prefer murder mysteries.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

kiss the clouds on a rainy day

you just need someone to pour your heart out to,
but so does everyone else.
Istanbul, Turkey by Sumayah Hassan

I really wouldn't mind waking up in Istanbul to this view every day for the rest of my life
It's good to know I have that option. Wherever I end up, I'd like my wall of windows to face the sunset :)

Friday, September 3, 2010

respect the thin line

I can hardly stand on this thin piece of rope, and too often I glance beside me.
he's there on his tightrope and i'm here on mine.
my left foot slips and I start to fall.
he never falls, never even stumbles.
and I wait for him on the ground.
he's too focused on balancing to even look down below.
I get back up and try again, but his stillness keeps me intrigued.
And I keep falling.



Thursday, August 26, 2010

what's the word that's burning in your heart?

I'm a strong believer in forgiveness and second chances...
and third and fourth chances, too.


and candy. I need to learn how to not be so indulgent after sunset...


your girl, she's a renegade.
a hurricane that keeps you there, safe

Saturday, August 14, 2010

we'll be young forever

view from my floor. click to enlarge :)

Thursday, August 12, 2010

my love for sleep and Ramadan

i've been in love with sleep all my life.
whenever there's a choice between going to bed and doing something else, i'm completely won over by sleep.
i remember during my senior year of high school i would nap most days after school. pretty uncommon for a teenager, i'd say.
anyway, i thought i'd confess my love for sleep tonight.


I'm so glad it's finally Ramadan. I always have this really great feeling during Ramadan. It's indescribable, really. I always share dinner (iftar) with close friends (now that I'm away at school) and it's such an intimate gathering when we come together to break our fasts at sunset. Being away from family during this month is kind of challenging because it's the one time of the year when there isn't an excuse to eat at separate times. Otherwise, we'd eat meals randomly and not feel obligated to gather at the table at a set time every day. And there's always so much to eat, so much to choose from. When you fast all day, after it's finally time to break it, you're not all that hungry. But because of all the amazing food, you can't help but stuff yourself. I've been trying to be a little less indulgent and just eat until I'm content. Which has been working so far (it's only been two days). It feels really good to fast during the day. Yeah, there are some times when you just want a glass of water, but for the most part it feels cleansing and strengthening. Most people say they could never do something like fast each day for an entire month. It's actually really beneficial and it teaches you to appreciate when you have. During Ramadan we also refrain from gossiping, cursing, and other things that are harmful to others so that we can get into these habits of cleanliness (not only the body, but the mind, also) for the rest of the month.
Anyway, I'm excited about Ramadan and I'm glad to be surrounded by such great people to share it with.


I guess I should also mention RA training while I'm posting. It's been so much fun, I love all the people who I'm training with and I'm so glad to have been selected for such an amazing job. I've made so many friends who I'll be working with, and I've been laughing all throughout training. We do these little exercises in the middle to wake everyone up and I swear I can't stop smiling and laughing. It's a bit ridiculous. But I'm pretty much always laughing and smiling lately. I'm at a really good place in life right now. Am I allowed to say that while I'm still in it? Well, I'm sayin' ittt.


sharkbait hoo ha ha.
xxx

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Day

my 18th floor view.
i'll post photos of the city at night soon, but it's beautiful.
it's a step up from last year's 10th floor view of a brick wall.
now i can people-watch with a birds eye view ;)
all i need are posters and cute stuff to hang up on the bare white dorm room walls.
they will see us waving from such great heights
come down now, they'll say
they will see us waving from such great heights
come down now
but we'll stay.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

carpe diem

Don't ever be too afraid to get out there and live.
You will get lost, and caught in terrible storms along the way.
You will endure hurt and wish to be back at home, safe.
But you will also experience the best moments of your life, you'll meet amazing people and see sights you could have only dreamed of seeing.
And you will have lived.
Every day should be something new and amazing.
Stay forever young.

Friday, July 30, 2010

she says she doesn't love him anymore
but she still pairs his matching socks for him when they come out of the dryer.
photo by Nick Brandt

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

via Random Indie Artistic Love Child.

a) Show off your honesty(and modesty) by thanking the person who gave you the award and link to their post. [check!]
b) List 10 honest things about yourself. Cheating makes you lame, so just play along, all you taggees.
c) Select 7 other bloggers you think deserve this award and pass it on to them.
d) Notify said bloggers about the award and invite them to be the honest ones next. Ooh, I'm sure they'd love that.
a) Random Indie Artistic Love Child, you have a million followers, and i love reading your posts, so i'm super flattered :) THANK YOU!
b)
1. I'm so afraid of vomit it's ridiculous. I run.
2. I think smoking is cool. They always advertise to us that smoking is ANYTHING BUT COOL, but I can't help but think otherwise. Plus, I like the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland. I've never smoked anything but hookah, but when I see people smoking, I think it's cool.
3. I imagine weird freak accidents on a daily basis. I can't help it. I mean, I just think of all these horrible things that could happen and I cringe.
4. I'm obsessed with good hygiene. I told someone I wanted to join the Peace Corps one day and they said I was "too clean". I'm kind of scared of germs, and I haven't gotten over that even in my first year of dorming with communal bathrooms.
5. I don't know that I'm very good with kids. I love kids, I want to have, like, 10. But when I'm around kids, I don't know that I act the right way or whatever.
6. I get very passionate about things, and then, like a week later, it'll be over. And I won't finish something. I don't like it. I'd rather stay passionate and motivated and actually finish something. I think I'm still just fishing for my interests.
7. There are times when I just want to take off my scarf and let my hair down. But I don't.
8. I'm a terrible liar. Especially when I'm trying to joke. I don't fool anyone. It's good because I CAN'T STAND LIES. I would say I can't stand liars, but liars can change.
9.  I feel like I talk about myself way too much, so I'm trying to change that.
10. My memory is awful. I take pictures and write in a journal so that I won't forget things. But most of the things I write are stupid. If anyone read my journals, I would be completely mortified.

I love honesty.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

we're so so fragile.
our skin, our emotions.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Grey's Anatomy

"Change; we don’t like it, we fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying. But heres the truth: the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Oh, sometimes, change is ... everything."

I don't watch it, but I like that quote.

Umar asked me the other day how I always keep so calm. I honestly don't know, I just don't care enough about small things to fight with anyone. If anything, when something's wrong I don't get angry, I get sad or disappointed. I hate when I hear people fighting over stupid things, so I don't do it.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Summer 2010

I'm so glad I now realize who's worth my time and who isn't. It makes things a lot easier for me because of my busy schedule. I hardly have time for anyone, really, but I know that the free time I do get will be spent with family or  people I actually care to see. Before it was all about fitting everyone in before going to school but now, I really don't care. I'm just kind of doing my own thing, and working two jobs. It's a challenge, and it's a huge change from the past summers that I spent doing absolutely nothing, which is what I like. It's weird because with all this work and not a lot of free time, you would think that I would just want to quit it all and relax until sophomore year. Not the case. I like being productive, I like having a schedule, and I like earning my own money. Also, I chilled way too much in school for way too many years and I'm hoping that this set routine will help me adjust to my fall schedule. And now that I know what I want to do, I really need to focus on school and do what I can to get to where I want to be. I'm so ready. I'm really happy right now, and it's kind of strange. I'm not doing anything particularly exciting and I rarely have time to myself, but something is really different about me and I just feel so much more free and content.
I miss school. I'm a weirdo, I know. But I've met the coolest people over the last year and after spending every day with them, walking across the hall or just down the block to see them, it feels weird that they're not with me. When we're reunited, we'll be attached at the hip.

Also, I've been having the coolest dreams ever lately. If I remembered any of them, I would've started writing a book. But it's me. So I don't.


There's only us, there's only this. Forget regret- or life is yours to miss. No other road, no other way. No day but today.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Success

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children... to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success." 
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sunday, May 30, 2010

keeps gettin' better

  Right now, I'm feelin' good. Everything is coming together for me, and I don't even remember the last time this happened, if it did. Last week I got into my first Social Work class of my college career. I'm thrilled about it, and I actually feel motivated to do well because it is the starting level class of my Social Work major. I haven't ever really felt so encouraged, I'm usually anxious to start classes but I never keep up a steady studying technique. This is something I hope to change this semester because I feel like I've accomplished so much in the past year and I want to continue to do so.
  I was selected to be an RA in the freshmen dorms for this fall, which was a delightful surprise. I'm a pretty confident person, but I'm not very optimistic. I won the "Most Positive" superlative among the sisters in the MSA, but honestly, I never expect anything good to happen to me, but I don't let it show. People tell me it's horrible to think that way, but it really does prepare me for let-downs. So when I got the RA position, I was so relieved, and it made me even more excited for the fall semester.
  This weekend was amazing, I went to West Virginia (photo above). Everyone asks me why we went, there's nothing there. But that's exactly why. To get away from all the noise and chaos of home. And, It's the nice kind of nothing, the kind of nothing everyone needs once in a while. The skies were carefully painted with the brightest pastels, and like a dream, we drove through clouds and saw them floating across the mountains beside us. We touched the highest point of the state and relaxed, easily forgetting about anything we had to return to.
  While on our weekend vacation there, I got a phone call offering me a job! And of course, I accepted. It will be my first real job, and I couldn't be happier. I had planned on working this summer, as many hours as I could get, to save up and help out with school expenses and to travel. I feel so independent and I'm anxious to get started.
  Also, I finally realized what I want to do in life, career-wise. It's perfect for me, I don't know how I never thought of it before, but it's exactly what I love, and what I've been interested in since I was young. Now that I know what I want to do, I feel so much more confident about what I'm studying. It's the greatest feeling!
  All I can say is Alhumdullillah, and thank God for everything, always. I am so grateful for all that I've been blessed with. 2010 has been a very rewarding year so far, iA it is only the beginning.

Friday, May 21, 2010

The moon shined and then smiled half-way
The stars applauded and danced until day
The sun rose and we were called on to pray


I'm enlightened.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Lessons Learned

  Yes, something has changed within us all, but it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I was always scared of growing apart from anyone close to me, and now I think it was without reason. It’s terribly sad but at the same time, where I lost a couple of friends, I gained many more who welcomed me with open arms. My freshmen year of college is over. It was definitely an experience. There hasn’t been a year when I learned more than I did in this past one. I regret a lot of things, but at the same time, I learned a great deal about people and about myself. I’ve changed so much this year, I’ve learned a lot about honesty, trust, respect, fairness, and friendship. I still would like to apologize to all the people I’ve hurt and to all the people who I involved in matters they shouldn’t have been concerned with. A wise upperclassman (Kairshma, I love you) once told me, "Everyone has their rough drafts." And now we're all just working on our final pieces :)
  For my first year in college, so many people have opened my eyes to what’s important. Friends showed their appreciation for me, which I am grateful for because I had always felt like I was taken for granted before. I will always be there for each and every one of my friends, no matter how close they are to me. Friendship has always been something I valued greatly.
  I finally feel like I have my priorities in order (although I could do a bit more studying). Aileen and I were talking the other night for quite some time about how much we’ve grown and really found ourselves this year, and about where we want to be in a couple of years. I intend on surrounding myself with good-hearted people from now on and continuing to focus on what’s most important to me (faith, family, school). Thank you to all of those who helped me to grow and become who I am today. Hopefully this will continue and I will accomplish a great deal in the years to come.
  Also, I am looking forward to a productive summer filled with lots of hard work and even more reading. Frequent visits to the public library-YES!
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